The Egg Man
Sandra had an egg man. He was the guy who came around every other Wednesday with fresh farm eggs, potatoes, and various other stuff that was still covered in shit. When she thought about it this way her cynicism often reminded her that this produce could have just been covered in dirt and shipped out as fresh, free range. But then she usually decided that anyone who was prepared to take the time to make things like this look dirty was probably putting their twisted little minds to better use elsewhere.
The Egg man was always cheerful and he often brightened up Sandra’s morning. She would always rush to get to the door first before her husband, just to see his smiling face. Sandra was depressed. She had been taking anti-depressant medication for around a year now and she relished any contact with things that made her smile. This could be a cheerful tune on the radio, or a bird feeding its young, nestled between the drainpipe and the wall in the overgrown ivy outside her bedroom window. The egg man always smiled. Again, in her more cynical mood she would say he was grinning not smiling. The difference being that grinning, according to Sandra, is the physical expression of relish when someone got what they wanted; in his case six quid for a tray of eggs. He was a small, rotund little man, and no taller than herself. In actual fact, when she stopped to think about, there was nothing at all that attracted her to him except the way he cheered her up.
Colin her husband thought the Egg man was nice also. “You have to be appealing these days to sell anything on the doorstep, whether you’re a regular or not a smile helps matters,” he would say. He knew that the Egg Man cheered up his wife and he never wanted to take that away from her. Sandra often got the feeling Colin was almost jealous of him. However, it wouldn’t be surprising, she thought, considering that her husband hadn’t had sex with her in almost four and a half months. At one point she had convinced herself that he was having an affair, even though the fact they never screwed was more to do with her libido. He used to complain much more a couple of months ago; like mad sometimes, detailing that he was still alive, and what was between his legs didn’t just switch off because she didn’t feel like it. Of course this didn’t help. He knew it, and she knew it. Her medication and depression had switched her off; it was simple really. And on the rare occasion she did actually feel like having sex with Colin, she found it too hard to get past the fact that he had been quite demanding of her considering the circumstances, so they would both just go without. Colin wouldn’t have had an affair, she reasoned, he didn’t have the time or energy to.
She had fantasised about the Egg man a few times, and she remembered the first, it was soon after they were introduced. She took herself to bed one afternoon after his visit. It wasn’t unusual for Sandra to do this regularly anyway, take herself to bed. It had become normal behaviour. It also seemed that on many of these afternoon naps she tried to awaken herself sexually; it was the only place in the house that she felt safe and relaxed anymore, and it was the only way she could even attempt to feel sexy. She often forced herself to imagine the wildest of sexual fantasies in her head, and she actually succeeded in satisfying herself on a few occasions. In the early days of her depression Colin bought her a vibrator in the hope of using it on her himself, but she wanted little to do with it, or indeed him. However on the first occasion she went to bed to fantasise about the Egg man, her vibrator was great company.
She felt slightly guilty when she reached for her bottom bedside drawer to retrieve it. Because poor old Colin wasn’t getting any action she actually thought she was cheating on him. She pulled it from the drawer and opened the box. She almost lost interest, but her mind conjured an amusing image of Colin on the toilet in his office block at work, wanking himself off over a copy of The Sun. He must be getting off somehow, she thought, giggling to herself. No man could go for as long as they had neglected sex without having a wank; it was a physical and mental impossibility. Colin was usually a pretty highly sexed man; he could go all day, several times when he was younger. The images flashed through her head swiftly and she smiled as she thought of those times many years ago.
Sandra’s Egg man fantasy was really rather carefully contrived. He came into the house instead of loitering for his money on the doorstep. Once she’d got him into the house, she took him through to the kitchen under the pretence that she had something dirty on her hands, rendering her unable to carry the tray of eggs; something dirty on the mind was more to the point. Once the Egg man entered the kitchen she would seduce him and tempt him beyond control. This was usually achieved by dropping his money on the floor in front of him and subsequently bending over to collect it. She would give him a good flash of her tits and then they would be on for a good fuck over the kitchen counter. That’s how it went.
After several fantasies about the Egg man, Sandra was beginning to feel a little self conscious when she answered the door to him; almost as though she’d been spying on him. On one particular morning she was caught quite unaware of his arrival because he was late. The kids had already been taken to school and Colin was of course at work. Sandra had come home from taking the kids and decided to take off the jeans that her Special K diet hadn’t help her fit into any easier, in favour of wandering around the house in her knickers; she wasn’t hurting anyone, she reasoned, and if you couldn’t get partially naked in your own home, where could you? She was so taken unaware that when the Egg man rang the bell she was passing the front door and opened it without a further thought for who or what might be behind it. “Oh, alright darling, you a bit warm today are you,” said the Egg man a little uncomfortably.
“Oh my god!” Screeched Sandra, “I forgot all about it, I’m so sorry. Please come in and I’ll get your money.” Now it has to be understood that Sandra was in no way thinking about her fantasy with the Egg man at this time; both of them were so very embarrassed it was ineffable.
“It’s alright love, I’ll wait here,” said the Egg man resolutely.
“Nonsense, you’ll come in,” said Sandra, “do you think I want the whole street see me answer the door to you in my panties and a shirt?” She laughed a little as he walked in and stood in the hallway. She closed the door. The atmosphere had lightened considerably since she made a little humorous remark before letting him in, but now the door was closed and the light was taken from the situation, the atmosphere crept out of the walls again and rendered both parties virtually unable to move or speak.
Then as if suddenly remembering something very important indeed, Sandra turned on her socked feet and moved towards the kitchen to fetch some money from off the counter. However, she moved so fast on her feet that the polished wooden floors in her hallway left her feet nothing to grip. She slipped onto the floor face first with such a crash that the neighbours might have been alerted to a burglar.
“Bloody hell! Are you alright,” said the Egg man from behind her. In truth she was not, but she didn’t want to lose face.
“I’m fine thanks,” she said calmly as she placed the palms of her hands onto the wooden floor in preparation to push herself up.
“Let me help you,” he said from behind again. Without waiting for an answer, Sandra felt two strong hands reach under her armpits ready to hoist her up. “Here we go,” he said as he started to lift. Sandra suddenly had all her fantasies return to her in one brief moment. She felt really aroused, and as if by some lovely stroke of fate, befitting her current fantastical thought process, something very strange happened. “Oh shit!” Shouted the Egg man as he fell forward onto Sandra. He fell forward with such speed that it was amazing he stopped himself squashing her. He fell into a press up position to prevent his top half squashing her; he was by no mean obese but the Egg man did have a bit of a tummy, no doubt given to him from lots of fresh farm eggs, potatoes and good old fashioned ale. Sandra shouted out and started laughing, and as she relaxed and went with it, her whole body began to shake underneath him. She felt his crotch pressing against her ass and she started to get wet in the knickers.
This wasn’t how her fantasy usually panned out with the Egg man, but she wasn’t going to start complaining now; this time it was real. She felt his tackle start to swell and creep into the crack of her ass, through her skimpy little knickers. She pushed back onto his cock as he started to lift himself off. The laughing had stopped, and there was no sound except a little heavy breathing. The atmosphere between them was intense. As she arched her back and rubbed her ass against his cock she felt him push slightly against her. He was real big in the trouser department, she thought happily. Sandra was in heaven. She could feel the massive bulge of the Egg man’s cock growing to its full size and it felt great. She rubbed again, one more time up and down its length, making sure to get it directly between her cheeks so she could pinch it a little; when she did this is twitched inside his loose trousers. “Take it out,” she whispered over her shoulder without actually looking at him.
“Alright darling,” said the Egg man, “if you insist.”
“I do,” she said confidently. And as soon as she finished uttering this affirmation she felt a firm smack on her right ass cheek and recognised the fleshy, silky feel of the end of a man’s prick resting, impatiently on her ass. “That’s nice,” she said, as she reached around to grab it.
It was indeed a nice sized cock. Not overly huge, but certainly thick enough to touch the sides nicely, she thought to herself. She circled her hand around it as though it was the dildo she kept in the drawer besides her bed. She did this for what seemed like quite a while, and for a moment she had forgotten that it was attached to Egg man; the only thing that sent her hurtling back to reality was the fact that he let out a little gasp when she pinched the fleshy tip of his prick with her fingernails.
“Easy girl!” He exclaimed. He got to his knees and turned her over. She lay there inanimate, watching him while he struggled rather foolishly to pull his boots and trousers off. Was she really going to do this, she thought, actually have sex with this man? Sandra was good at this, talking herself out of pleasurable things. It was as though her depression had taught her to put up with second best all the time. As though she didn’t deserve to have steaming hot sex with a nice thick cock stuck inside her. On this thought she sat up, and just as the Egg man was slipping his trousers over his feet in a standing position. She reached forward, darting her head like a toad’s tongue, and took his cock into her mouth without hesitation. He moaned his delight.
Sandra never usually sucked cock and maybe it was because she hadn’t done it for so long, but this cock tasted pretty good; and it felt amazing to have in her mouth. She wasn’t foolish by any means, and she didn’t try to force it all in her mouth like she’d seen in unrealistic porno movies. She took him in as far as she could take him and then rested, just moving her tongue around the thick shaft inside the wetness and warmness of her mouth. After around a minute of just circling his thick prick, she started to slide very slowly up and down its length, making her lips do the work while her actual jaw and mouth stayed in the same position, keeping it nice and wet and warm. She could tell he was enjoying every minute of this treatment by the silence. In her experience men usually only made noises during a blow job to let you know the contrasts between what they love and what they don’t. There was never usually any grey area in between, if they loved it they would moan a little, but only so that their silence would speak a thousand words when you did something they didn’t find very impressive. However, the Egg man had never made a single sound, and when she looked up she could see that he was in seventh heaven, gazing at the ceiling light fixture rolling his eyes as though some strange daemon were entering him. She stopped again and felt the angry twitchings and swellings of his cock as it commanded attention, but when she looked up at the Egg man he was still in this rather strange catatonic state; his penis was quite clearly acting independently. He probably couldn’t believe his luck; after all, he was expecting six quid for a tray of eggs.
During this time Sandra had slipped two of her fingers down the front of her panties and had gone to work considerably on her pussy. She was so wet she was almost embarrassed by the squelching noises coming from her as she moved her fingers frantically as though trying to revive herself. She rested the Egg man’s cock in her mouth as she brought herself off to one of the best climaxes she’d had in months; after all, the Egg man wasn’t complaining, he had his dick in her mouth. She moved her fingers fast, together as though she were a DJ scratching a record, and then slow but firm, pressing hard on her clit at exactly the time her orgasm ripped through her stomach and womb, then out towards her fingertips as though they were an extension of her highly sensitised clitoris. She tumbled backwards onto the floor, sliding her mouth off the Egg man’s cock, making it twitch at the sudden rays of light and cold breezes that threatened to destroy its erectness.
She opened her eyes to the Egg man standing over her with no trousers on and a hard cock in his hand. He looked rather nervous and she thought for a moment he was about to put his dick away, get dressed and leave without his six quid. “Is that for me?” Asked Sandra reaching out again for the thick cock in front of her eyes.
“Sure is,” said the Egg man in a relieved tone, “You want it do you?”
“Oh yes!” Sandra pulled off her loose fitting top and let her ample boobs fall around in an unruly manner before the Egg man’s eyes. She felt the renewed hardness of his cock as it throbbed in her hand, forcing her to loosen her grip.
“Bend over,” said the Egg man, “I want to fuck you.”
“Alright then,” said Sandra without argument. She couldn’t wait much longer to get his thick nob wedged inside her wet pussy. She turned around onto all fours and she heard the Egg man breathing heavy as he got to his knees. She felt his big hands take a hold of her hips and pull her to him. His nob end felt as though it wouldn’t fit at first, but when Sandra reached around and flicked her pussy lips he slipped in fast, right to the hilt. She gasped as she felt the tops of his thighs slap onto her fleshy ass cheeks. He left it there without pulling it out or moving it at all, just twitching around inside her as though it was looking for something to do.
Sandra was the first one to move. She moved her hips from side to side, not back and forth as the Egg man might expect, no, she stirred herself with his cock and it felt fantastic. He had quite a thick cock when it was inside her and he didn’t have much trouble stimulating her where she needed it. She reached between her legs with one hand and pressed hard on her clit again, feeling herself reaching another climax. Sandra had never had it so good; she was more than ready for this sexual purgation.
“Squeeze my balls!” Shouted the Egg man. Sandra was a little shocked but reached a little further under anyway to find them. It was always amazing to hear other people during sex, she thought. Her husband would never scream out something like that, and she wasn’t sure if she liked it or not. When she found his balls however, they were big and heavy, and the felt quite velvety to touch; his pubic hair wasn’t too long. Sandra gave them a delicate squeeze and the Egg man moaned out his approval and looked over at Sandra who by then was peering over her shoulder trying to ascertain if she was squeezing them right or not. His look said it all, thought Sandra as she gave them another, slightly firmer squeeze with her newfound confidence. It made her feel even more horny to have this effect on him. She sensed that he would no doubt shoot his load very soon because of this, and she became so excited that her climax increased its speed and started to rip through her body again.
At virtually the precise moment that her orgasm exploded through her, Egg man whipped out his cock and slapped it onto the base of her back and shot his hot cum in a long, neat jet from the crack of her arse to the centre of her back. He slumped back onto his legs and then sat himself, crossed legged on the floor. Sandra watched him as she fell face first onto the fake wooden floor. The spunk trickled down the right side of her back and made a small pool on the floor next to her body, face down on the floor; it looked liked some form of bizarre murder scene.
“Are you alright?” He asked, leaning slightly around her body to get a look at her face.
“Yeah, are you kidding? I haven’t had a fuck like that in ages. Why don’t you come every week? I could bake more often if you like,” said Sandra.